Free??

Last week I was still surprised that I felt free after a comment somebody made. Of course it wasn't 'just' somebody: this was somebody I deeply respect and love, someone who taught me important aspects of life, someone who would always search for the best for me, and will love me no matter what.

Isn't it strange? I have known that person all my life, I know that person's intentions, I know that person's heart, I listened to everything that person said, I thought, and I believed it. But apparently I didn't do anything with it that should impact my 'status'. Knowing that person didn't reflect in my everyday life. I still was bound and felt it that way, the older I got. Even after growing up (more or less) and setting my own rules, I thought, finding my own way in life, I thought. I held my rules and ways to the Light to let that shine through, but still I was bound. Apparently.

Because now I feel free. Almost completely free. Like a heavy burden falling from my shoulders. Knowing the fact that you are free is apparently something different than getting the exact words that tell that you are free.

I'm free!
There's no one on this Earth with the right to question me.
I have just an audience of One!
That One is most important.

Luckily for the 'little' ones around me, the BIG One told me to be really good and stuff, so that no one on this Earth could tell something about me that could fit in the newest tabloids. Okay, even better, that everybody could only speak good about me, and praise my Creator.

Right!
Let's try that again.
Coming on steam slowly, but surely; maybe one day I will be a really useful steam engine (although I prefer red, in stead of blue)

(thanx to my kids and Robbymac who remind me of those freakin' steam engines on the most strange times and in the most strange places)

Burn-out

I didn't listen to my own advice
didn't renew my decorations
did stare only to the old ones
kept on staring

My body is hurt
my mind is chaos
my emotions are exploding
my feelings are numb

I have a spirit
somewhere
but it's solid

I have courage
somewhere
but it's hidden

I have words
somewhere
without sound

I have music
somewhere
but it's silent

I have the Spirit
somewhere
I have the Messiah
somewhere
I have the Father
somewhere

He is holding me

X-mas tree for life

Just before the old closes, we started something new.
I love starting something new. And I love making it perfect.
-ah well, whatever-

We redecorated and rearranged our living room stuff: right after the last 'Sinterklaas' -giving-gifts-to-the-kids evening, we build up our fake X-mas tree, rearranged every couch and table, and put the freakin' tree in a corner of the room. The kids did a wonderful job hanging all kinds of fabric and plastic decoration materials in the lower parts of the tree. That's to prevent the glass-thing from getting grabbed by our 1.5-year old when you're not paying attention.... Especially Cd's that don't work anymore are beloved tree-hanging-things.
The top-part is my dominion: glass my-first-Xmas balls for all our kids (3), old nostalgic decoration material I got from my mom and cards with prayers or scriptures.

Why on Earth do we want a tree in the house? To hang it full with lights and glass? My goodness.
And if it's better for your health to have a non-asthma-inducing thing, we have a fake tree for crying out loud.

I love the little lights. I love candles. I love bling-bling. So cosy. We have a word for that: gezellig. That's unable to translate in English, but it has the feeling of such a decorated tree. Sitting next to it with a mug full of hot chocolate, a little fire in the fireplace. Together with soul mates.


It's time again to rethink life. To organize a reflection moment, or better, reflection day, or even better, reflection week. To get your mind empty. To listen. To talk to God. And listen again. For a long time. Reading His Word. Singing. Playing music. Listening to music. Be quiet. That kind of reflection. What your life is all about. What's your goal. What's the way to get there. Who is going to walk with you, help you, be with you. Redecorating. Rearranging the whole living. Turning it into something worth living for again. Knowing where to go for, and go for it.
We have time again to put some little lights in our life, all around.
We should decorate our life again, with something new, with something shiny, with something old that gives good memories, with something broken to laugh about, with some things that are unable to break.
But all your life decorations should be things that you love. That make you smile when you look at it, and that makes you want to look at it. You'll see: even others are trying to catch a glimpse of your tree-of-life, and others are going to love to look at it, learn from it.

Life is made to be happily lived.
Ever after.

Back in Business

That is, the slow come-back of health in our family's life is finally giving me time to give it out again. To examns on sociology. To music. To buying presents.

In the Netherlands we have a sort of competition between mr. Sint (saint) Nicolaas aka mr. Sinterklaas and his name-brother mr. Santa Claus. The first is celebrating his birthday (dec.6) on the day he passed away (dec.5) some hundreds and hundreds of years ago, and the second is his flown over ghost in the new world.
Because the real saint Nicolas was rich and as a bishop of Myra (Turkey), had christian tendencies to give it away, we also give presents to eachother. And maybe because Nicolas was a bishop, giving good advice to everybody, we write some poems that go with sertain presents, to give good advice too. Or to tell somebody in a subtile manner that he/she could do something typical a little different next time.... Whatever.
The Netherlands seem to be the only country in the world that is celebrating this event, why that is, I have no idea. It's a nice ocasion though to organize a feast with typical Dutch pastry!
(for recipies, e-mail me ;-D)

Nowadays the ghost of Sinterklaas is called back to the Netherlands by king Media, and together both Sinterklaas and Santa Claus are in service of the ruler of lifes; queen Spender.
The Sinterklaas-hype starts usually around october with all kinds of pastry in the stores, and all kinds of offers from all kinds of stores. It's a nice ocasion to get to know your citycenter updates. At the end of november the first glassballs and X-mas-green-stuff can be found in the stores. (to give at a present at Sinterklaas maybe?) Than we give bigtime attention to the celebration itself on december the fifth, or the weekend after or even better, more than once: first time mom and dad are playing Sinterklaas and giving presents, later grandpa and grandma are playing Sinterklaas. Result: a full-house, and kids with too much to play with.
Than somewhere 'round december sixth the X-mas hype starts big time. And the whole mediacircus is starting all over again to try to get your last money out of the house. And you know what? the Dutch kids are loving presents under a tree in the house also.

The power of money. The power of greed. The power of connecting 'giving presents' with 'love and real communication and celebrating life together'.

And inbetween we have something with a little baby who was the biggest King ever and after life on Earth, turned into a richer biggest King/Man ever. Try to explane that. To the world. To your kids.

Community...?

Why is it usually so easy to love the lover of my soul; when I see His artwork in my kids, or His artwork in painting skies and clouds, or the outcome of His gift in my life, the things He gives me the opportunities for, and the gifts, and the support, when I think of what He has done for me, or what He is at this very moment doing for me, the things He gives in the hearts and minds of my family and my friends, the gifts and opportunities He gives them, to be used together with eachother and together with my gifts and talents to give Him the honor He should get from His bride.

And why is it sometimes so difficult to be openminded, just standing with your arms and hands open, with nothing than myself to give, loving some other children of Him? loving the church?
Why am I not always able to see them as His beloved children, so that I love them too?

Living together as brothers???? kicking eachother around the house