freakin' thoughts?

Well, it's been a while again... I can't seem to get into the groove, why did I ever think of writing books and stories...
Maybe it's indeed because I've been told that my thoughts are way too freaky for others, so I better not share. I'm dangerous.

Ow come on! Everybody has freakin' thoughts, right? I just CAN'T be the only alien around all normal sane human beings.
What is normal, by the way? and what's being 'sane' anyway? what's a human being? Why aren't we called elves? or halflings? or dwarfs? or navi? or avatars?
Wouldn't it be cool to not be the tallest two-legged creature on earth, or not to have round ears, or not have hairless feet, or to be blue or purple, or to bend the world around us by dancing? Wouldn't that be cool. Just because there's then more difference between races and people than we have now?

Did our creator maybe created us sort of looking the same, with just a little centimeters difference, and just a little difference in colour, to tell us we are family? Or because we just can't handle being more different than we are now?

If I could know what you have been thinking lately. Or what you do think now. Would you be alarmed? Or would you go on thinking and we start a thought-conversation? Welcoming all passing thoughts of others? About freakin' things. Of course. Who's thoughts are perfectly structured and not scary, like a mathematical system, who's road is always traceable and reproducible?

In churches are lots of guys who studied theology, and especially the older ones have fairly different (freaky) ideas than the younger ones. Then there's the lots of female minds, who probably studied the same area, that think also very different (more freaky?), but from a very different perspective.
Let me share an example of the freaky thoughts of one of our older professors in theology. After seeing the world develop as it does, world meaning the Dutch Reformed liberated tradition, okay maybe a little more of the Netherlands; this professor just wrote down his thoughts about it. His statement comes down to this: there's no leadership anymore, we need leaders as we had in the past, we need people (that is: men) again who tell the people (that is: church people) what to believe and what to think.
Now THAT's freaky thoughts. The few men the ignorant flock should listen to, are of course elected by this theologian himself or his fellow thinking thinkers. As I guess he won't ask me to be in that election board. I'm just one of those ignorant sheep who happens to be theologian too, oh and, darn, I'm a woman even, and that's the more freaky.

Who is to tell me I have freaky freakin' thoughts?! Isn't it more freaky to dream about a time when everybody is to be told what to think? Or even what to believe? By whom?

Lots of people have freaky thoughts, most of them don't turn it into something obligatory for others too, they just share. I had the feeling that this theologian is not just sharing. What if he would be the boss of thinking? Big Brother?

That's not just freaky. It's dangerous. It's an attempt to brainwashing.
Why did God give us a brain anyway? To throw it away because we don't use it, because we're not allowed to use it, by someone who insists on using his brain-thoughts, also for the rest of the world?

beep - beep - fatal error - virus detected - shut down
/\_/\_/\__/\___/\________/\______________________________________

Warship?

It's still very strange to read (and hear about) all the odd ways in letting eachother free (NOT) in how to praise our Lord and Saviour. For some nice thoughts about this subject, read some of one of my soulmates www.robbymac.org. (you are so right, Robby, thanx for your sharing of experiences)
An artist has a free mind, (a very nice present from our Creator) why is it apparantly so difficult for some of them, to see the same need of freedom for others? Aren't we all artists, of life? Are we not made to reflect Gods pluriformity, to show all the sides of our Almighty God? Just by having some gifts and working together?
Why is it that some of us just want to press s'b else in a frame? Is it concern about the salvation of the other? Or is it because 'our way is the only right way'?
The only thing to prevent this attitude is, living very close to God, I think: Praying and especially listening. Sometimes I think: if Jesus would be in our church, would He apply for worshipleader? And IF He did, would He fit our worshipleader-profile? Or would He thunder a 'message from God' from the stage, or try to convince all of us by sitting next to us and tell a story, as He did so often when He was still among us, to let us discover the truth ourselves? Would He apply for an elder? I sometimes get the creeps when I think of Jesus walking into our nowaday life: what would He cry about, that we have a hard time to understand?
What would He say to us?: 'well done, my dear bride!'

I pray for us, to grow in relationship with our Lover!

There's no time to think about time

I need to learn this: write down my thoughts as they appear
BUT! there's a problem, and it's NOT lack of thoughts...

ah-well-whatever

Lots of things appear to be timeless. Like the way people communicate with each other, or with God, or with themselves. Again I was stunned by the power of power. Leading to destruction of characters.
Isn't it amazing that manipulation still exists in the world? Couldn't we expect that all those generations between paradise and now, should learn the surviving fittest ones that trying to stomp other living souls into frames-made-by-ME-MYSELF-I, is killing the own souls slowly but surely? Not even speaking of the stomped souls. Yeah, well, rhetorical question: the king of lies still succeeds in fogging the way we receive messages.
Friday I learned that some 50% of audible communication isn't even understood in the way it was send, and just some 10% will be remembered. The messages sent by victims of manipulation (done by or to them) will be blocked by 100%, probably. I found some fog machines, and the big one is unbelief. Especially in our christian inner circle.
Even though we are not of this world, we sometimes awfully look like we are. Misuse of power and use of manipulation is inside churches and christian organisations just as common as outside. Why is this still happening? Why can't we talk to our brothers and sisters in an open and trust full way about anything? Why is the way-of-the-Kingdom (as is a standing phrase in the Reformed liberated churches these days) in communication so often not even in sight? Why do brothers and sisters still not believe the existence of manipulation close by (and not only in the way women treat their men...)? And why is almost everybody running away from the ones who address these problems in christian circles?

Ah, well. Our first big encounter of the manipulation-kind isn't even cold yet, and one of the subjects of my study appears to be: 'how-to-run-church', with a guest speaker (Ton Wintels, yeah, Dutch :-D) who wrote a book: "Power and manipulation ... of course nonexistent among christian leaders!??". During his lecture we received a handout with some lists of characteristics of manipulative leaders, beloved things said by those leaders, how to recognize manipulative leaders or organisations, and so on. Suddenly it struck me again that the things he told us, were the same things we encountered during half a year (recently), in a christian organisation (the ones who could do something about that situation, did it, so it won't happen again! Praise God!) But even worse, those were the same things I had very very bad feelings about last week, because I saw christian-manipulation's ugly face again.
We agreed that it looks like God prepared us (my husband and me) to be the ones who are able to recognize this coming up, and have the experience to address it. I don't like it. Whoever is reading this: please pray for this situation to be solved, and for us, because it is put right in front of us (we can't even run away :-S)

to be continued...